Your Calendar Is a Mirror: What Does It Say About You?
One of the most powerful questions I use in an executive coaching session is “Does your calendar reflect what you value?” Why do I ask this question? Because our time is a reflection of our priorities, our habits, and sometimes… our autopilot. Retirement is a rare opportunity to take back your calendar and make sure it reflects your priorities. But in order to do that, we have to first see where we are and where we want to go.
Time Without Boundaries Can Feel Unsettling
In the working world, we’re handed a built-in structure. Meetings. Deadlines. Vacation days. But in retirement, time becomes a big open field. It can feel freeing…and also paralyzing.
Without intentional planning, retirees often feel:
Overcommited to everyone else’s expectations. I have more to say on this topic here.
Aimless, feeling unproductive or guilty.
Unstructured. Some do this intentionally out of a feeling of rebellion, but feel lost without it.
Whether you’ve fallen into this default mode or not, it is never too late to create a full and vibrant calendar that reflects your values and maximizes your joy.
Calendar Audit Exercise
Try this calendar exercise to translate the last couple of weeks into your starting data. Print your calendar or just jot down how you spent your time. (You can also do this with your electronic calendar by using labels and colors.)
Then sort each activity into one of these categories:
Growth – Learning, hobbies, reflection
Connection – Time with others
Health – Movement, rest, care
Purpose – Contribution, goals, legacy
Play – Joy, exploration, creativity
Drain – Obligations, stressors, regret
Next, ask yourself these questions:
How much time was spent doing things that “light you up?”
Did you see the people you care about and matter to you?
Was there enough white space—or too much?
We know that hobbies, connection, health, purpose, and play are essential components of a healthy and well-balanced retirement. Does your time reflect your commitment to all of these? Some? None? Are there gaps in a couple of these areas or in nearly all of them? If you find that your calendar is riddled with Drain, it might be time for a reset.
Designing a Values-Based Week
Once you’ve done the audit, ask yourself: What do I want my week to look like? How can I make it reflect the life I want to live? And how can I ensure that those fundamental categories of fulfillment get met in a way to makes me excited?
You don’t need to plan every minute, but you do need anchors: habits, people, and rituals that keep you grounded and engaged. Ideally you’ll build in these anchors for all of the major components of a happy retirement - hobbies, connection, health, purpose, and play. Need some ideas? Try adding a weekly hike with a friend, a lunch out with a significant other, or sign up for a painting class to pursue a passion you never found time to try.
“Does your calendar reflect what you value?” I bet with a few key changes, you can ensure that your answer is an unequivocal yes.
